More downs than ups this week

For the last two weeks Chris has really not been himself. He is uncomfortable most of the time. Then last Saturday, he started having hallucinations at night (every night since). It is very frightening to hear him scream out that something is on him or that he is trapped in a box. It is a reaction to some of the meds he is on. There is some discrepancy as to which med it causing this, just depends which Dr.  you talk to. He also has insomnia, so during the day he is exhausted.         ( Which means most of the time, he is pretty cranky)

Due to these issues, we are taking Chris off of all meds and see what happens within the next 24-48 hours. If there is no improvement, I am very sad to say he will need to return to the hospital. Chris is adamant about not going back and it would break my heart to tell the girls that daddy has to go back but if that is what it takes to get him feeling better than that is what we are going to have to do.

I am feeling very much like a single mom these days and I don't like it. My hats off to any woman who is a single mom. Although the girls have been pretty resilient it is still hard for them to understand why daddy isn't quite himself.  I am getting some great tips from a child psychologist and attempting to maintain a "normal" life style for them.

I am off to meet with the lawyer tomorrow to re-apply for MediCal. Hopefully this will be easier the second time around and with someone who does this for a living. If this doesn't work, I honestly don't know what we will do.

I am off to read Fancy Nancy to two little girls who do not want to go to bed yet.

Love and gratitude,

Christy